Romance

RUSSIAN ROMANCE

More Russians are celebrating Saint Valentine's Day!

By Stephen Wilson

 

 

"She loves me, she loves me not, She loves me, she loves me not" chant curious British  people as they pluck the petals of a daisy to divine whether their girlfriend genuinely loves them. The last petal plucked with the particular phrase will resolve the issue. If you can't find a field full of daisies or don't believe in this quaint custom then a more proficient or proven test might be  to see if your girl or boyfriend sends you a Valentine Card. But I noticed that some Russians don't  always drop hints or send anonymous cards. I have found that some incurable romantics will paint on the asphalt outside the apartment of their affection emboldened white words such as "I love Katya " with a huge heart. Indeed, I passed three such messages while going on a long walk through Moscow. Whether their expressed love was requited or terrified their beloved remains an intriguing mystery. The mind boggles!

 

It is worth noting that the custom of sending a Valentine's Card almost fell out fashion in Britain for over 20 years because they had begun to turn into cruel pranks. That is from the end of the 19th century to the 1920's. Such a cruel prank is an act which sets off a chain of tragic events in Thomas Hardy's novel 'Far from the Madding Crowd' when a capricious lady sends the luckless landlord Boldwood a card with 'Marry me'. Despite it being 'a joke', Boldwood takes it very seriously and becomes obsessed with the woman who sent it insisting she marry him!

 

The origins of this custom remain quite confusing! It is surrounded by different legends. Some claim that the day commemorated the fact that  two Roman soldiers were executed for violating an edit which forbade them from marrying women. Another stated that the Emperor Claudius the 2nd, in 269 A.D., beheaded a priest called Saint Valentine who secretly performed the sacrament of marriage between Christians and refused to renounce his faith. I was bemused to discover that the relics of this saint are supposed to be kept in the church of Dun John Scotus in the Gorbals, Glasgow, where I worked as a teacher! Despite the claim by some in the Orthodox church that this is not celebrated 'as it is a 'western tradition', the eastern Orthodox church has a day devoted to Saint Valentine in their church calendar.

 

What is significant is that in Russia it has not only become a day which has been commercialized. It is also currently being politicized. The opposition to the Russian government have chosen to mark this very day by appealing to people to come out into their courtyards to shine their mobile phone torches for several minutes making a heart. The aim is to express their love for political prisoners proclaiming 'Love is stronger than fear'. The Russian government have predictably threatened such protesters with arrests and fines! They would much prefer if people sent each other safe and sentimental cards and showered each other with dying flowers. But will people actually be arrested for celebrating Saint Valentine's Day in a particularly unconventional way?

 

But how do Russians relate to this custom? Have they begun to embrace this custom? Judging by the increased commercialized adverts all over Moscow you can be forgiven for believing it has really taken off. Drop into the English Bookshop Bookbridge and you get a 20% discount on buying a romantic novel by Jane Austen and billboards along the Leningradsky motorway promote the celebration. The main restaurants in Moscow are often booked in advance by couples seeking to mark the day. According to a recent survey by Avito Ru, 85% of Muscovites will celebrate the day in contrast to 15% who will ignore it. The figures for Russia as a whole come to 72%. As many as 48% in Moscow will celebrate at home and  43% will wine and dine their partners at restaurants.

 

Second City Teachers decided to ask a few Russians three questions: 'Do you think more Russians celebrate Saint Valentine's Day?' 'How do you relate to this celebration?' and 'What is love?' We received many unanticipated answers. When I encountered my neighbor who told me how she had caught Covid 19 and had just recovered she told me, "I don't celebrate this day, we have our own Russian celebrations. But if some people like to celebrate this day I have no objections," answered Natasha, a pensioner. She also stated, "I have nothing new to say about love other than I think it is about respect, devotion and self-sacrifice for another person." I later dropped into a Kiosk to buy some pens from another pensioner called Tamara. She told me, "I don't celebrate it. It is not written in the Bible that I must celebrate such a day so I am not obliged to celebrate it".

 

I later spoke to Yevgeny, a 42-year-old  manager man, who told me, "Why should I celebrate this day? It is not a Russian holiday! We have enough of our own celebrations! Russians will use any excuse for a celebration. They know how to celebrate. I don't believe this survey which found most Russians celebrate this day. On February the 23rd this is the Day devoted to men who serve in the armed forced but it has become a day where women are supposed to buy all men presents. But they don't always buy men presents because they will tell a man, 'Since you are not in the army I don't need to buy you a present.' Then they expect us to buy them a present on the 8th of March International Women's Day. I tell them, 'Why should I buy you a present? You are not Rosa Luxemburg!' But if they claim they are Marxists? I would answer where is your beard?" When I asked him, 'What is love?" he answered, "I am not good at expressing this emotion in words" and remained reticent. Of course he treats his wife on the 8th of March and maybe even Saint Valentine's Day if she asks him but finds a lot of the logic of those celebrations amusing. He loves to crack jokes about the irony of some celebrations.  

 

I asked Marina Lysenko, a 31 year old specialist in Internal Communications what she thought of it. Marina answered, "I don't take this seriously. I don't celebrate it. I know that the most popular restaurants in Moscow are booked up in advance by couples wishing to celebrate this day and that discounts are made to anyone who orders a meal as a couple. If you want to book a table you have to do this in advance. My school friend Olga takes this celebration seriously. At school she would dress up in her best clothes and place a red flower in her hair. She expected and liked to get Valentine's Day cards from the boys in her class. I don't like love which is too sweetly expressed. Of course, I feel flattered when I get a Saint Valentine's Day card from someone. Everyone likes it when they hear someone likes them!

I agree with the psychologist Mikhail Labkovski that if a man loves a woman he will want her to develop as a person and support them. For instance, my friend Olga runs a very successful blog and her husband Ilya fully supports her and allows her to take time off from the office to work on it.

 

I spoke to Olga Stepanova, 31, a trainer and teacher from Bulgaria who is happily married with two children and lives in Moscow. She told me, "I love this day! It is nice to have people sending each other cards and small presents. It is not useless. I noticed some adults like this and children adore it. My own kids are thrilled by this event. It is nice to have something to celebrate in those colorless gray days. I go to baby shop with my kids and buy heart shaped balloons. In Bulgaria on the 14th of February we can mark two celebrations: either Saint Valentine's Day or the Day of Wine {Trifanzarzan}. So while two lovers will celebrate Saint Valentine's Day, couples who have broken up will drink wine! I am a romantic ... but there are different aspects of love such as helping a neighbor, love of your family, and you can also feel love of life. Then there is loving pets. My mother now loves her dog. When my daughter first brought this puppy home she was not very happy but grew to love it. Now she adores it!"