Teacher Romance

NO TIME FOR LOVE

A LONG HOUR, LOW PAY, LOVELESS VOCATION

By Stephen Wilson

 

So many school teachers are so overworked or do precarious low paid jobs that you are left wondering whether they have time for anything else such as pursuing hobbies, interests and even finding a potential soulmate! In such long hour, low paid and often insecure jobs it comes as no revelation that many teachers state they have no time to find potential partners never mind contemplating marriage or starting families. Some are just too worn out to begin a quest to find another partner and can come home to just slump down and fall asleep on their beds. Getting married can seem either a remote possibility or strike people as reckless when they weigh up the possible new expenses.

 

That teachers in Russia might not have time for love or marriage is indicated by a recent survey undertaken by Super job. Super job interviewed 5000 respondents from 5th February to 6th of April 2021 and found that while 65% of teachers and 69% of doctors complained of overwork, only about 27% of marketologists and 17% of psychologists complained of overwork. As many as 72% of computer programmers also complain of overwork. That Russian school teachers are doing more and more work is explicitly evident. They are doing more paperwork, more tests and asked to teach more students at school as 'optimization' is leading  to more redundancies and school closures. 

But the impact of this long hour culture on the lives of Russian teachers has scarcely been examined. It has led to delayed or less marriages, isolated teachers who feel deep loneliness and in some cases a complete absence of a social life. In many jobs people are asked to stay in the workplace to fulfill never-ending deadlines which rise again and again. Teachers and others workers feel married to their jobs! Since most marriages require at least a degree of job security and stability to sustain them, short term teaching contracts as well as a highly volatile economy preclude this.

Russia had a crisis in 1998, 2008 and then again in 2016 where people lost their savings. Deadlines displace dates and romance is relegated to far fetched films and naive novels.

Poor work conditions, terrible work schedules and low wages are not the only obstacles which prevent finding potential partners. All kinds of nuances can arise. One Russian school teacher told me, "My children would not allow me to start a marriage." I recall one teacher from Britain telling me how he was invited home by the cleaner in the office. When he was a guest at her home her son aggressively swore at this complete stranger. Perhaps this son saw the teacher as a territorial threat or an invader. It was an unpleasant spectacle. It was the end of the romance!

 

One of the worst things about this is that so many teachers are made to feel they are inadequate, incomplete or to blame for not having a partner. But the reality is that the constraints imposed by a more ruthless and unrestrained capitalism which insists on 'flexible unpredictable hours' renders romance an unrealistic option. In short, many people are not free to make a choice as to whether they marry or not. That is why so much advice you read about in glossy magazines offering tips as to how to find you partner seems naive nonsense. People are not 'free to choose'. If they are lucky to find a partner they must move heaven and earth to keep them!  

 

In this atmosphere it is no accident that so many people feel a deep sense of loneliness and loss of meaning. Against this background the popularity of dating agencies is flourishing in Moscow and all over the World. When I had an English lesson in a restaurant called 'Obed buffet' I found that half the hall on the 2nd floor would be taken over by an agency organizing 'speed dating sessions'. They would charge a fee of around 1200 rubles for a couple of hours of having a few minutes date with a potential partner. I tend to be skeptical about such agencies. But I was surprised that for some Russian teachers it worked! One of my ex-students, an English and French Russian teacher, told me, "I decided to give this a try as I had no free time to find a husband. I found my husband through speed dating. We met up and got married." They  have been married for ten years and have two children. So although some obstacles might appear insurmountable in the quest for true love some teachers do have some luck. But more free time and improved wages would at least make this quest much easier.